Behind the counter of a well known restaurant called Rose's Diner, on the East Side of Chicago, there are two women behind the counter. One is an average looking, brunette. She's the kind of woman who is everybody's friend. Her name is Jean Marie Hardin. The other woman is a real pretty one, with blonde hair and blue eyes. She has the kind of eyes, that you can see right through. And behind them is the dark side of fear.

She really looked out of place here in this quaint diner. She looked like she belonged somewhere else. Somewhere else in a kind of classy place, and certainly did not look like the waitress type. Her name is Karolina Myers, and she serves a good cup of coffee. She also offers good conversation and likes good wholesome jokes.

One thing that really seemed to brighten her day was, two kids who came in about the same time every day. One was Ida Marie, Jean Marie's daughter and her friend, Tony. They would take a seat and order sodas. Karolina would tousle their hair when Tony would ask every day when she would go out with him. She would only say "Someday soon Sweetie."

But this day they didn't seem to do their job in lightening up her day. She seemed sad, and downhearted, because her good friend and boyfriend Michael had left for California yesterday. He left for a better job when she said she couldn't commit to him. So they said their good-byes and parted ways. She admitted to herself she couldn't commit to him, or anyone for that matter. But she was still lonely for companionship.

But there was lots more than she was willing to tell. But she had told Jean Marie she was thinking of moving because she was getting annoying phone calls. The calls came all hours of the night and not only disturbed her sleep, but would catch her when she was busy otherwise. They were mostly hang-ups when she answered the phone. But they still disturbed her and set her hair on end.

Of course there was more, than she dared to tell anyone. Jean Marie was such a worry wart and had taken Karolina under her wing. And she didn't want to involve her into her problems. Although she suggested she go to the police. Karolina would refuse and say. "It's no big deal, I'm just afraid of my own shadow I guess."

Jean Marie's husband Gary was a Detective on the local police force. She had threatened to tell Gary herself. Karolina persuaded her not to. If it got out of hand, she would cross that bridge then. "Besides" she said "Aunt Liza always said with the lights off you won't see any shadows."

"So I guess you live in the dark?"

"Don't be silly. It's just one of her crazy mixed up sayings. Like never wear your shoes on the wrong feet. You'll never know if you're coming or going." That brought a smile or two to them.

Things were slow and she was sitting at a table mindlessly stirring a cup of coffee. And looking out into the dreary streets. She thought it is going to snow soon, she could feel it in her bones. The leaves had long ago fell, and the wind had an icy chill in it. But she loved it, and loved being outside, no matter how cold it was.

She remembered back to when she first came to Chicago. It had been five months ago, even then the wind had a chill to it, some say it always does. She found this restaurant the day she had arrived, but she hadn't gone inside. Instead she remembered looking through the same window she now looked out of, and wished for some final peace.

It wasn't until the next morning when she left her new apartment hungry, did she come inside. She remembered then, it was almost like going home. Red checkered tablecloths draped every table, and candles were there whether lit or not. As scared as she was they had made her feel like she belonged in their group they called their Family.

Charles the cook had served her up a plate of his famous scrambled eggs, bacon, and buttermilk biscuits and gravy. He said she looked like she could use a hearty meal. Actually she had ate every bite and was thankful for a meal at last it had been awhile since she last ate. She felt like she could relax enough to eat something and enjoyed the food.

Jean Marie who had taken to her right away was rambling on about how they needed help, especially during lunch hours. It had been her persuasion that encouraged her to ask for a job. Charles was more than eager to hire her without knowing if she had experience or not. She remembered he said she looked like she needed a break. Even Mr. Wells the kind old man she had grown to know and respect, had been there that day. He told her he was a loner too, since his wife Frances passed away a short time ago.

She sipped her coffee, hoping she could finally make this her home. Even though the phone calls were disturbing her, she felt secure for a change. Secure in knowing she was far from where she had come from, and had a totally new look. She felt confident know one would find her in a low class place like this. At least she sure hoped not. She was tired of running from town to town, looking back behind her everywhere she went. But deep down she knew she would always be looking beyond and behind herself. But at least for now she was free and hoped to stay that way.

A stranger came in bringing the chill with him. He scanned her face as he walked past her. She felt another chill up her spine, but it soon left, as he smiled a hello to her an took a seat. The girl who was to relieve her came in for her shift and hung her coat up. Karolina looked back outside and saw a long black car hat stopped and the people inside seemed to be looking in. She shivered and looked away, but glancing back she was relieved to see that it had pulled away.

"Ouch!" She was jabbed in the side by a smiling Jean Marie who said. "Earth calling. Will you go or not?"

"Go, go where?" She asked.

"To the movies. Haven't you been listening at all?" Jean Marie asked? She continued explaining again, that Gary was working late and she would like to go to the movies. They could go somewhere to eat and she would find a sitter. She agreed and they changed out of their uniforms and took Ida Marie to a neighbor and went out for chicken.

She remembered Michael had taken her to the movies once. He had thought she was crazy, for not knowing what a theater was. He had even asked had she been living in the Dark Ages or something. She had been so excited over seeing the big screen show. Jean Marie had asked her what was she going to do now that he was gone. She only answered with she didn't know. But she wasn't ready for another relationship. She thought to herself she would never be ready for one, she couldn't.

Jean Marie had asked if she would agree to meet Gary at his favorite bar Neon Lights, after the movies. She agreed it sounded like fun, and they settled back to enjoy the movie a thriller, called Intersection. They both enjoyed the movie a lot and talked about it after they left the theater. It had let her get her mind off her problems for the time being, and she liked that, not having to remember, why she was here.

On the drive to the bar she remembered how she had felt the same even now seeing another movie on a big screen. She had never got to watch much television before, and had never got out to what people call the theater. But it was an enjoyable change of pace for her. And she hoped to return again and again.

She had no idea what to expect from a bar, she didn't want to admit she had never been to one. Jean Marie would sure question that too. So she just let her take the lead. Loud music filled her ears as they entered, and she had trouble hearing Jean Marie. It took several minutes for her to adjust to the loud music. Several people called out to Jean Marie and waved a hello, as they took a table close to the band. They both remarked they didn't much care for alcohol, so ordered cokes and french fries to munch on. As they listened to the 50'S band they snapped their fingers and rocked to the beat.

They both were asked to dance, at first she shied away first, then remembered how she used to like dancing and accepted to a fast song. When her partner asked for the next dance a slow song she declined and went back to Jean Marie. They both refreshed their lipstick, mentioning their lips were chapped from the cold air. Though she never noticed. the lead singer was watching as she put on the lipstick. He licked his own lips and groaned to himself as he watched.

He had noticed her when she took the table. He noticed the way she flipped her hair when she took off her coat. He even noticed the way she sipped her drink. And he could hardly stand to see he put on lipstick on those thick luscious lips. He sure had an itching to meet her, but he would have to continue his set. As he continued singing he tried to get her to notice him, by singing ones like Devil with the Blue Dress on, and In The Still Of the Night. But she hardly noticed.

His heart sank a moment when he saw a man come in and join them, until he recognized him. It was an old buddy from way back Gary Harden. He knew he would definitely have to go over to them now. Taking his break he went straight to their table. He hit Gary on the back and sat beside him asking. "So how does someone like you get two pretty girlfriends tonight?"

Gary laughed and said "Hey buddy, glad to see you again. This one don't you remember, my wife, Jean Marie? Honey remember Parker Johnson? Man I didn't know you were back in town, you should have called me."

"I haven't had time really Big Guy, How are you anyway."

"Just great, better now that you're back. We need to get together soon." Pointing to Karolina he said." This is our single, friend Karolina with a K Myers. Karolina meet the best friend a guy could ever ask for." As he shook her hand he held it a little longer than necessary. They both said "Nice to meet you," at once.

Gary ordered a beer and said "So are you back for good buddy?"

"Guess so, I'll come over so we can catch up maybe play some poker."

"That would be great!" Gary answered. Parker turned and asked Karolina, "So where have you been hiding?" She smiled and turned away as she said. "I just moved here five months ago. I work with Jean Marie at Rose's Diner."

"Oh really? I need to get back to work see you guys later." And he went back on stage.

After he left Jean Marie whispered. "He's good looking right?"

"MMM yes." She agreed sipping her drink, as Jean Marie continued, "He's really nice, and sings good. And been a good friend to Gary, until he left town some time ago."

"I know what you're doing so forget it." Karolina said, but she had taken more notice of him. He seemed to be singing and looking directly to her. He sung songs like Walk Through This World with Me. He thought maybe he had offended her when he saw her get up to leave. Actually she had just got up to go the restroom.

It was almost midnight, they had discussed going home, when someone asked her to dance. The band was playing Help Me Make It Through the Night. The one asking her to dance was Parker, and she hesitated to the slow song. Encouraged by Jean Marie and Gary and Parker who was pulling her to her feet. She followed all three to the dance floor.

Reluctant at first she kept a distance between them as he danced her around. Not understanding herself she felt relaxed ,and he eased closer to her, and hummed in her ear. She relaxed more and questioned while she felt that way, and wanted to dance with him. With Parker it was different, not like it had been with Him! She could actually feel the warmth and tenderness flowing around this stranger. She was slightly disappointed when the song ended, and he returned to the stage.

As they left the bar that night it was snowing. They saw her to her apartment and said goodnight. Karolina found her way to the bed exhausted. The phone woke her as usual, when she answered they hung up. She slammed the phone down cussing and prepared for work at 5 a.m. Gary and Jean Marie picked her up and drove her to the restaurant. Even though it was snowing harder, and piling up, Gary said it wouldn't last long.

They were quiet busy even with the bad weather. Everyone was talking about the snow, but the streets were clearing. Taking her order book to table five she was ready for the order given as, "Double burger, large fries and another dance please, and coffee." She saw Parker Johnson as she looked over her order book into his smiling face. When she returned with his order he was disappointed that she was too busy to join him.

Parker ate and kept noticing her. She noticed him watching her as she took another order or poured more coffee. She would catch him staring at her and she would look away, but smiling first. He was trying to figure out why such a nice classy looking girl would be working here. She carried herself with class. But then again when he had asked Gary a long time ago why he let Jean Marie work there, Gary had said. "It may not be high class, but the people are good honest hard workers, and make us feel like family. Jean doesn't have to work, she does it because she likes it there. Parker had to leave without finding out more about Karolina with a K Myers, and he left a tip behind.

The snow didn't last long as it soon melted away. Jean Marie said it was typical of Chicago. Gary returned before their shift was over, to take them home. He mentioned wanting to go out again, since he was off that night. Finally they talked Karolina into joining them. She said she would but first she would have to go home and change and feed Mr. Peabody. They agreed to pick her up at eight, as Jean Marie explained to Gary. "Mr. Peabody is her roommate, a Persian tom cat.

After their shift ended they ate there. Gary had already lined up a sitter for Ida Marie. Karolina mentioned, "So let me guess. You want to go hear your buddy sing right?"

"I sure would, do you object?"

"No, of course not He is good. So you've known him since High School right?"

"Yea we lost touch for awhile when he moved away. As a matter of fact I haven't seen him in about four years, until last night. It sure was good to see him again."

"Married?"

"Was. He told me today his wife Cara died two years ago. That's why he came home. She dragged him off in the first place. He said she had cancer and died pretty quick."

"How sad."

"Well I think he kind of got struck on you."

"I hate that for him! It won't do him or you two any good, so forget it." She stared right through Jean Marie with that remark.

Jean Marie spoke up saying. "Well I hope you aren't waiting for Michael to come back."

"No I don't want him back, but neither do I want anyone, I can't."

"Playing hard to get will leave you knitting and watching soap operas, and lonely."

"You sound just like Aunt Liza now."

"We can still have a good time right?"

"Sure I may even have a few drinks, as long as I know you guys will take care of me."

"You know we will." Gary said, and for a moment she thought, maybe she could trust him in some ways. Maybe if she just told him, he could help her.

Along with that thought a chill crept up her back and she shivered. Remembering words from her mamma "Trust no one. The police have work for him too". So she kept that thought in the back of her mind along with many others. But still she felt they were different, they were like family. The kind of family she had dreamed about for many years. But then again the only family she had known, betrayed her in their own ways. They had hurt her in many ways whether physically or mentally. She couldn't trust anyone with her horrible secret. A secret that kept her awake many nights and made her sick to thinks about it. No one would believe her anyway, and it would have to remain a secret, it had to. No one especially her new friend would understand.

At home Mr. Peabody greeted her and she fed him, he was her family now, she could trust him. She showered and chose a long black silky skirt and high neck lace top. She done her hair in a half sweep up, and put on her makeup. She was sure enjoying her style of clothes, much different than what she was used to wearing. She liked blue jeans and sweaters or sweatshirts that seemed to be the style for this town. It was much better than the kind she use to have to wear. She thought she looked nice, almost innocent. She had to laugh to herself as she thought Who am I kidding.

Gary and Jean Marie looked nice dressed in matching colors and they were off. They were predicting snow again, and they agreed to keep check on the weather and leave if it got too bad. The band was playing when they got to their table, but there was no sign of Parker. Someone asked her to dance right away, and Jean Marie and Gary were already on the dance floor.

It was around nine O clock when she heard Parker singing. Back at their table they ordered their second Marguerites. Parker and some red headed girl were singing Let Me Be There. He was smiling at Karolina and when she crossed her legs and took off her heels, he missed a word of the song. He and the girl singer were the only ones to notice.

She had danced some more and when she was on her third drink the band took a break. Parker came straight to their table. After chatting awhile and the red head asked was he ready. He asked her to open up giving him twenty minutes more, adding he wasn't ready yet.

He asked Karolina to dance a fast song while Laura sang. He told her he was glad she came and asked if he could take her home. "Maybe we'll see I'm in Gary's hands." When the song ended he held her back while Laura sang Blue Suede Shoes. Feeling the effects of the music and booze, and the feel of him, she relaxed. They danced around dirty dancing style, a style someone had taught her and she had perfected a long time ago. She smiled as she remebered the young girl who laughed as she showed her the new style of dancing. She missed the children, but she wouldn't go back no matter how much she missed them.

She didn't know she could let herself go this much, and it felt good. Soon he returned to the stage, and seemed to be singing directly to her. It was eleven thirty and Gary said they should leave, the roads were getting covered. He brought their coats and she flipped her hair out of the cooler and put her shoes on and waved to Parker. He smiled back as they left and was singing Bye Bye Love.

The roads were getting slick and it took them awhile to get there. The cold air kind of sobered her up and Gary saw her to her door, where she told him goodnight, promising to call them tomorrow. She made her way to bed dressed in a flannel nightshirt and snuggled into bed with Mr. Peabody.

It was 3 a.m. When the phone woke her as usual, she answered they hung up. Finally after six times she unplugged the phone in the living room and thought she and Mr. Peabody should just leave. She did manage to get some sleep after that. Although she was awakened many times from the continuous nightmare, she had night after night. The same one she memorized and acted out in her waking hours. It was the same one that made her look over her shoulder, or around a corner. One where she was constantly running from someone.

At noon she was up and had made her last pot of coffee. She stood looking out the window, to the snow covered streets with little traffic on them below. She was piecing together her feelings from the night before. It was very unlike her to be comfortable with anyone, especially a man. She told herself, who was she kidding, she could never be happy with anyone, anywhere she went.

But this place had drawn her from the moment she stepped off the bus. Chicago, a place she had never heard of, so why did it draw her to it? At least she could stay in one place while. It had been months since she had been here and no one had bothered her, except for these dam calls. Once she had thought it could be Michael, but she eliminated him. She hears of people talking about getting wrong numbers all the time. But why did she have to get so many?

She saw a movement from the curtains, in the apartment across the way from hers. It had been empty a long time, now apparently someone had finally moved in. She strained her eyes hoping to see a friendly face, but it was too far away. She missed Michael, although she wasn't close to him. He had been a friend, but she couldn't confide in him, or no one. She strained her eyes again and could see someone in the window now. She felt a cold chill come over her, Her hands shook and she dropped her cup breaking it and spilling the half of cup that was left.

She got a towel saying "Dam" to herself, and started picking up the pieces of her only cup left She loved that cup. Michael bought it for her, after she broke all her others. She was wiping her tears and wondering why she was so nervous. Other than the fact of her nightmares, she had recuperated from loss sleep.

She was putting the broken pieces in the trash, when there was an urgent knock at the door. Her hand slipped and she cut her thumb on the broken cup. "Dam it!" She said out loud this time. She hesitated to open the door asking who was there. She heard Jean Marie and opened the door wiping her eyes.

Jean Marie made her way in and behind her was Parker. Embarrassed by her appearance she shut the door behind him. Jean Marie was rattling off "What's wrong with you? I've been trying to call since 9 a.m."

"Well I did just get up, want some coffee? I bet it's cold out." She poured three coffee into plastic glasses and apologized for them. That was when Jean Marie noticed the blood on her hand. She grabbed her hand asking "What have you done?"

"It's nothing." She tried to jerk back her shaky hand but Jean Marie held it tight. She washed it off saying it wasn't bad and left to get a band aid from the bathroom. Parker was staring at her while he sipped his coffee.

Jean Marie bandaged her cut and asked "You've been crying what's wrong?"

"Nothing! What are you two doing out on a day like this?" Parker was holding up the phone cord as he said "Here's one reason you couldn't get her."

"Oh yea I forgot I unplugged it. I'm sorry you came this far."

"Still getting the calls I see?" Jean Marie asked. Parker looked at Karolina asking "What calls is that?" As he put the cord back on the phone, Jean Marie and her sat down. She answered "It's nothing! So what brings you out?"

They all three had sat down and Parker kept looking around the place thinking. It wasn't a very nice apartment, but fixed up really nice for a waitress salary. Jean Marie was saying how Gary had been called into work, and Parker had been over early. "He offered to take me to the store. When I couldn't get you to see if you needed anything, he offered to bring me here to check on you. Where's Mr. Peabody?"

"In bed he is being stubborn today. I am low on food and did just use my last coffee."

Parker spoke up saying "Well if the mister doesn't mind you can go with us. You shouldn't be driving, and I'm not doing anything else today." Jean Marie noticed he looked a little down hearted and she smiled saying "Come on out Mr. Peabody and see me." Through the open bedroom door bounced in the white Persian, and up into Jean Marie's lap. She stroked him asking "Miss me?" Karolina excused herself and went to take a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt.

She took a quick inventory of her pantry making a list, then put on some lipstick. She noticed Parker staring at her this time. She smiled and pocketed the lipstick, checked her purse and checkbook and said "Let's go." Getting into the truck Jean Marie made sure she had to sit next to Parker. She asked to be taken home first since Ida Marie was with a neighbor.

At the store she picked up a set of cups to replace the broken ones. She was overlooking breakfast burritos and Parker mentioned he made some from scratch with diced potatoes bacon, eggs and cheese. When she agreed they sounded good, he added he would be glad to show her how someday. She shook that thought off as a pass as she continued on as he pushed the cart for her. She thought he looked much more casual in his faded jeans than he had looked at the bar. And she did think he was very good looking casual or not.

They did take Jean Marie home first and helped her with her groceries. Karolina admired her house it was the first time she had been there. They left to take her things home promising to return soon since Jean Marie wanted them to return for dinner. They fed the cat and put things away, and returned back to Jean Marie's and helped prepare dinner before Gary got in.

After dinner and making coffee with Jean Marie she did admit she liked Parker. She said she found him very attractive, and polite, but she wasn't ready for anything but friendship. Jean Marie added "Whatever has put you into recluse can't be all Michael, what gives with you?"

"Nothing would you just quit trying to play matchmaker and let me live my life my way. I can manage quiet well thank you."

"Well, Excuse me!" But both women were smiling.

With the weather getting worse, she asked to be taken home. Gary asked them to call when they got there. The roads were quiet slippery even in the four wheel drive truck. They were quiet so he could concentrate on the road. About ten miles from their house just on the outskirts of town something happened.

They weren't going very fast, but someone turned off in front of them without giving a signal. To keep from hitting the brakes and running into the other car, he started around it. Not seeing another car coming straight ahead. It all happened so fast as Parker said "Hang on I'm taking the ditch." Looking ahead after he turned the wheel she saw a big tree right in front of them. The seconds and parts of her life passed in front of her.

Parker came over putting his arms up to cover her and protect her as they hit the tree. As soon as they stopped and he caught his breath he raised off her, unfastening both their seat belts, he raised her up, from her bent position. She was gasping for air.

He jerked her out of the truck into the cold air, and shaking her slightly asking. "What's wrong? Honey, talk to me." She was still gasping and trying to talk. "Knocked the...." Gasping again she finished "the breath out of me." There in the snow filled ditch he held her against him, until she could breath easier. When she did he said, "I didn't want to hurt you, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault you done the best you could. How bad is it?"

Going to the front of the truck, he saw the front fender was mashed into the wheel. "Not to bad, but I'll have to walk somewhere for some help and a tow truck. You wait in the truck out of the cold." Hastily she answered.

"No!" There was desperation in her voice as she said "No don't leave me out here alone. I can walk with you."

"Are you sure, it may be a long one?"

"I'd rather be walking that stuck here alone. Please don't leave me here." He pulled her coat collar around her neck and zipped his up further and took her hand as they started walking, and she kept looking back.

They didn't have to walk too far to a garage. With his insistence she stayed there drinking coffee and staying warm while Parker was gone. She called Jean Marie and told them what happened assuring them they were fine. Gary offered to come and get them. She told him she didn't think it was necessary, but would call if they needed him too.

The other attendant kept looking at her and asking a lot of questions, like where she was from, where she lived. And she didn't like the way he kept looking at her. When the tow truck arrived she was waiting outside in the cold. Parker jumped out telling her to get back inside the warm station. But he could see the peculiar look on her face, the kind of scared one, and asked "What's wrong?"

"I don't like it in there. He keeps asking me a lot of questions and looking at me. Don't leave me here again, I don't like him."

He took her hand leading her inside saying "I know Jim, he's just friendly that way, and making conversation. It shouldn't take long and I'll get you home, Relax, it's OK." But she stayed right beside him and the mechanic worked to get the fender pulled out where he could drive home. Parker noticed her still staying close and looking into the area where Jim was. He brushed her hair back and smiled at her, to let her know everything was allright.

It was two a.m. When he got her home. The roads were still bad as careful as he was. As she unlocked the door the phone was ringing. She shook off her coat with his help, answering it. It was Gary checking to see they made it. He said the restaurant would be closed so she wouldn't have to work. He also told her to relay some road closings to Parker, so he could take another route home.

When she told him she asked how far she lived from there. "On the other side of town. I can make it if no one decides to make sudden turns. I would like to call you tomorrow."

"Sure, call me when you get home. But why don't you sleep here on the couch? It is pretty comfy."

"I couldn't impose."

"Nonsense what are friends for, if they can't offer a couch?"

"If you insist, I am really tired to fight the roads again."

"Then I insist."

She got a couple of blankets and a pillow as Mr. Peabody came to investigate. She told him to make himself at home and to wake her if he got up first, then said goodnight. Preparing for bed locking her door she questioned herself for putting herself in such a predicament, she would never had done this before. As usual she was awakened by the phone and unplugged it, not knowing why she still felt comfortable.

Even when she woke herself up screaming from the nightmare, and heard Parker pounding on the door asking was she allright, she still felt OK. She answered "I'm fine go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I'm fine really."

"If you want to talk I'm here." He said through the door.

"Thanks but get some asleep." He laid back down wondering what she could have a nightmare about. There was real terror in her voice.

When she woke at ten to some noises in the other room she remembered she didn't have to work, and that she had company. She dressed in jeans and a sweater and splashed on some makeup. She found Parker in the kitchen, he had made breakfast and coffee. "Good morning sleepyhead. I'm surprised you slept at all."

"I'm sorry I woke you, and the phone did. MM smells good." He served up bacon, scrambled eggs, toast and jelly.

While they ate he asked "Want to tell me about it?"

"There's nothing to tell really. The phone rings six to eight times a night. I answer, they hang up, that's it."

"Well Gary would tell you to change your number, and get some sleep. You can give your new number to your family."

"I have no one to be concerned with it."

"Well then I think it's time to change it don't you?"

"I just haven't had the time."

"Today you do don't you?"

"Yes I think it's time to, whether it will do any good or not, I will."

He touched her hand for a few minutes asking. "What about the nightmare?" As she jerked her hand away she noticed it was shaking as she said. "It was just about the wreck. Everyone has nightmares sometimes."

"Well I'm sorry about the wreck."

"I'm just glad neither of us were hurt."

"So am I, are you afraid of me?"

"Of course not, if I was you wouldn't be here now."

"Good, don't be either. I just thought you seemed to be afraid of a lot of men. Such as the ones at the bar and there was Jim."

"It's nothing I just keep my guard up. Isn't that best?"

"If that's what you want then it's fine. I'm just offering to help because I'm concerned about you."

"I know that, but I can take care of myself. But I think you are just like Jean Marie and Gary. So tell me are you a Elvis wanna be?" He kind of blushed and that surprised her for a man to blush about anything, and he answered. "No I just enjoy singing for a past time. It's just until I get my head together and decide what to do with my life."

"Your wife was she pretty?" He looked out the window deep in thought and she apologized. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked."

"It's OK, yes she was very pretty. We were high school sweethearts. She landed a good job in New York and we moved there. Soon after she got sick, and there was nothing we could do to help her."

Getting up and getting them more coffee she said "I didn't mean to pry."

"You're not. I just haven't talked about it. We saw lots of doctors but they all said the same thing. She lived about a year after we found out. I stayed there for awhile, but I couldn't handle it without her. So I came back home, and I'm living off insurance money and singing."

After she done the dishes she joined him while he watched the news. There was lots of news about the weather but one story disturbed her. Some young girl had been found last night she had committed suicide with an overdose. She asked what made people desperate enough to kill themselves. He explained there were lots of reasons from loneliness to sickness and getting out of bad situations. "I don't think I could have the nerve to kill myself, even though I've thought about it."

"I should hope not! Some people are just afraid to ask for help I guess, some people think there is none. Sometimes they may be so drugged out there is no help anyway. I would think you would have a lot to live for."

"I'm just curious. I'll make that call now."

She called the phone company and had the number changed. They told her depending upon the weather it should be changed by the late afternoon. He told her he should be getting home. "Hopefully you can sleep tonight." She thanked him for fixing breakfast and he said. "You shouldn't have to go out for anything right?"

"Not until I go back to work. Thanks a lot."

"Can I call you?" She wrote her new number down and handed it to him saying. "Drive careful."

"If you need anything call me I'll get it for you, before you go out, my number is on the fridge."

"Thanks again."

"Thank you for the use of the couch."

Mr. Peabody was wrapping himself around his legs and he reached down to pet him a good-bye. As he opened the door he waited and then turned and smiled at her. Then he kissed her a quick shy kiss. Then he put both hands on her cheeks lifted her head and kissed her fully with parted lips. At first she kissed him back, enjoying the kiss. Then when she realized what she was doing, she pushed him away and said "No!" He turned back through the doorway mumbling "I'm sorry."

He closed the door behind him, she picked up Mr. Peabody, and hugged the cat crying into it. Sinking down on the couch she said. "I'm the one who is sorry." Parker had left the building, but outside he stood looking up to the window of her apartment. Just for a minute before walking away to his truck and driving away. He was trying to figure her out.

Karolina was deep in thought and tears. She was remembering again. She use to dream about kisses just like the one she received. They were very different than the ones she used to receive. These were soft gentle tender kisses. The same kind she read about in those books and saw on movies. She wiped her eyes and mouth and was remembering the other kind. The kind she use to get. The ones that hurt her mouth and made her squirm under the pressure.

And she remembered those rough hands that always followed the kiss. They were rough on her soft skin. And the things they done, especially the way they hurt her. But sometimes they pleasured her and then hurt her. That wasn't a long time ago, she wished she could forget it. Then came the words "Never, you'll never be fit for anyone but me." Then came the pain, the dam pain that still hurt her, if it was only in her mind. She felt sick, she tried to hold it back. But she still had to run to the bathroom and vomit.

The rest of the day she done laundry and cleaned her apartment. The fact was it was always clean. But it would never be clean enough for her. And she had to stay busy, too busy to have time to think about anything, or have time to remember. She called Jean Marie and give her the new number. She was thankful her friend had finally changed the number. "Now maybe you can get some rest for a change." Naturally she asked how things went with Parker. But Karolina said she had laundry to get to and avoided her, and they hung up.

Two days later they returned to work. She had talked lengthy with Parker every night and enjoyed having his friendship. The roads were clear and she had driven to work. Jean Marie was excited and wanted to hear more about the night Parker stayed over. Karolina was filling salt and pepper shakers. Jean Marie was filling sugar containers. She explained. "Now get your mind out of the gutter. He was a perfect gentleman, too perfect. I slept in my bed, he slept on the couch. The next morning he made breakfast and we talked. He encouraged me to change my number. When I did he left."

"What else?"

"I've talked to him. Look I told you I'm not looking for a relationship."

"So who says there has to be one?"

That afternoon Tony, Ida Marie's friend came in all downhearted. She tousled his hair asking "Why so sad sweetie?"

"The movie I'm dying to see, Jurassic park closes today. Everyone has seen it, but me. My Grammy was going to take me, but she's sick today. And she or my dad won't let me go alone. I gotta see it I really do." Karolina smiled at him saying. "Well I did promise you a date soon, How about we go? We can take Ida Marie along for a chaperone. I haven't seen it either and I would hate to miss it too. You go ask your Grammy and pick me up back here."

After he flew out the door in a rush Jean Marie asked, "Do you think they'll really let him go? We don't even know who he belongs to."

"Oh well if he doesn't come back, then I will be just stood up right?" She asked. Jean Marie arranged for someone to bring Ida Marie down, and said she would join them. They changed into their jeans in the restroom and hung up their uniforms.

Her date was sitting at the bar eating fries and she asked was he ready. "As soon as I finish these. The movie starts at 3:45 we have time." So she and Jean Marie got coffee and waited in the back for him to finish and Ida Marie.

Someone had walked in calling out for "Tony!" Tony looked up and yelled "Daddy! I finally have a date." As he hugged the man who had his back to them. Then he turned and said "So I hear." They saw the man was none other than Parker. Karolina gave a funny look at Jean Marie and Parker was looking around the room asking "So who here is stealing my little boy's heart?"

Karolina looked him straight in the eye and said. "I guess I am." Parker grinned and said.

"OK son, but you need some money to show a pretty lady like this a good time." He gave him some money and said "Have a good time you two." Then Tony grabbed his daddy's hand and asked. "Daddy can you come too?" Kneeling to look into his boy's face he said. "Well you don't want me hanging around with you on a date now do you?"

"Sure, and you did promise to take me someday, please daddy?"

"I know I promised and you could use a driver. How about you Karolina is it OK?" She smiled that sweet smile saying. "Sure we could use another chaperone, and here comes your date now," as Ida Marie came in.

Jean Marie said she would go on home and for them to have a good time. And just like a regular couple Tony and Karolina paired off in the back of her car, Parker and Ida Marie up front. They bought popcorn and cokes first thing. Halfway through the movie Tony wanted to move in front of them with Ida Marie. Parker took his seat beside Karolina and they shared popcorn and whispered once in awhile about the movie.

After the movie they had burgers and fries and took the children roller skating. Actually he spent most of the time teaching her how, but he didn't mind. When they sat out a round or two he asked where had she been not to know how to skate, adding he thought everybody skated. Not getting an answer he asked. "So I guess you like kids?"

"Oh I love them. He's such a sweet boy, we never knew he was yours."

"Well not many people do. He was really too young to remember his mother. I try to make the difference up for her being gone, as much as I can. But I can not replace a mother no matter how I try."

"I'm sure you are a great father."

"Not like I'd like to be."

"So tell me where did you get a name like Karolina with a K?"

"I was born in North Carolina, mom loved the state. She wanted to have something to remember the good times by so she named me after it. We moved away, and now it's just me."

"Where's your folks now."

"Dead. Killed somewhere out west in a car wreck, five years ago. They and my sister were on their way back to North Carolina where I lived with my aunt. That's one of the reasons I left. I couldn't stay there knowing they died coming back."

"I'm sorry."

"Well it took a long time to get over it, and start over."

She continued looking at his hands. "I see you are still wearing your wedding ring." Parker looked at his hand and twisted the ring around saying. "Well it's part of my life, I hate to let go of because of Tony. He's the only thing I have left of it besides this ring. And I haven't exactly had a reason to take it off, for anyone." But he twisted it now around on his finger.

"Good looking guy like you, and a great singer. What do you do fight them off with a baseball bat?"

He blushed again, she never knew men would blush. He said "Not exactly. I just keep busy and don't think much about dating."

"Neither do I?"

"Is kind of sad isn't it?" She nodded her yes saying.

"Sometimes especially with very few friends. I just have a Jean Marie and Gary and the kids, and of course Charles and Mr. Wells." He took her hand in his and said. "I'd like to change that if I could." Not answering that she said.

"Well they take care of me."

"Gary is a good man and a great friend."

The kids came over and interrupting them, they found it hard to believe they were tired and ready to go home. They took Ida Marie home and went back to the restaurant for his truck. Karolina asked if they wanted to come over for awhile. Parker asked "How about it little guy?"

"OK daddy" and they followed her home. Tony fell asleep before she even got coffee made. "I'll take him to my bed and cover him up, unless you want to leave."

"I's like to stay, I like your company."

When she returned to the living room he had poured coffee for them and was on the couch, watching TV. When she joined him he asked if they could do this again. "Maybe if Tony wants too."

"How about going out with just me?"

"Maybe we'll see when you ask." Slipping his arm around her shoulders he said. "I want to apologize for the other night, I didn't mean to offend you."

"I'm a big girl, don't worry about it."

"Well I shouldn't have let my mind override my morals. I shouldn't have done it.

"It's OK really."

"Well I'm sorry I usually don't do things like that."

"So tell me about the girl Laura, known her long?"

"No she's good, her husband manages the band and introduced her into it."

"Really she is good, together with you."

"Well we play tomorrow and Sat. Why don't you come with me and afterwards we can go out to eat?"

"I shouldn't I have to work later and will need to get home." He got up to leave saying he should get Tony home to bed, and thanked her for the coffee and was gone.

That night she had another dream, one she had a long time ago. When she woke she got up pacing the floor, piecing it together. She had it those times she cried herself to sleep, begging her knight in shining armor to come and save her and take her away. He did come to her, only in her dreams, many times over when she needed him.

This one was slightly different than the others, she could see him plainer. He kind of looked like Parker, but she thought she just associated him with the blurry image. He kissed her like Parker had kissed her a few days ago. The same sweet soft kisses, the ones she wasn't afraid of and dreamed about. In her dream he told her not to be afraid. And as usual he said he would protect her and love her always.

She remembered what woke her was when she was crying saying nothing would ever change, she would always be afraid. She could never be goof enough for anyone to love. But her hero held her hands so tenderly and kissed them as he said. "That's not so, you are good, and I'll always love you, remember that." And he had given her that sparkling heart again, and kissed her. He never touched her otherwise like that other one. Once again he said "I'll always take care of you." Then she had awakened. She snuggled into the couch and cried "Never, it will never be"

Mr. Peabody woke her prancing on her stomach and the radio was blaring from the bedroom, it was time to get up. She shut off the radio and showered and dressed for work. She had a very busy day at the restaurant and everyone was anxious to hear about her date. She insisted there wasn't much to it and they dropped it. Parker called her to see if she had changed her mind and could come but she said no, she had things to do.

Three lonely weeks had passed since she had been anywhere but to work and the grocery. The weather wasn't bad, just cold. She guessed Parker had finally given up, he hadn't called for awhile. And she was able to sleep without the phone waking her. But she was still restless and tossing and turning in her sleep. Even though she tried not to think about Parker and wanting to see him, she couldn't get him off her mind.

That Saturday she had showered and was doing her nails, when Jean Marie called to asked her to go out again. She agreed and put on a silky blue dress, blue heels and red jewelry, and got her black coat. When they picked her up they said they were going out to eat. It was cold but not snowing at least.

Over dinner Gary asked. "So are you waiting for Michael to come back?

"Of course not why?"

"Just wondering. Parker came to see me today he was asking why you were so withdrawn. I must admit I wonder why myself why you are."

"I don't have much faith in men these days. I'm just keeping my guard up."

"A few bad apples don't spoil the whole bunch you know."

"So I've heard, I'm just not ready yet." And it was dropped through the rest of the meal.

At the club Parker was singing I'm so lonesome I could Cry. When he spotted her he smiled and she waved at him. Several asked her to dance but she only danced to the fast ones.

When she had finished one dance she was refreshing her lipstick. A hand stopped her before she finished her bottom lip. She looked up to see Parker as he said. "I wish you wouldn't do that." Shaking off his hand she asked "Why?"

"It drives me crazy, all I want to do is kiss you when I see you doing it." She blushed and scooted over in the bench and said. "Parker!"

"I mean it/ I wanted to kiss you the first night I saw you. Look whoever hurt you, and has you scared of men, don't think all men are like that. I never thought I could love anyone but Cara, even after all this time. But I can't get you off my mind. I haven't wanted to date anyone before. Frankly it scares the hell out of me. But I only ask you not to shut me out of your life. Not yet anyway."

"I haven't intended to, but it won't work anyway."

"We don't know that, not yet anyway. Is that why you haven't called me?"

"No I just don't call guys."

"OK I'll accept that, so I'll call. Lets dance."

She hesitated because it was a slow song. But then she let him pull her to the floor and into his arms. While they danced to the music she realized it felt good again. She wasn't afraid of this or him. He whispered "I missed you." Her arms tightened around his neck and he kissed her cheek and he felt her sigh. The song soon ended and he walked her back to the table and returned to the stage.

She danced some more with one guy who had danced with her before. But he held her back on the next slow song. She tried but it wasn't the same. She pulled away and started to walk off. But he jerked her back slurring. "Ain't I good enough for you, I've been watching you dance."

He still held her as she strained from his hands saying "Let me go." He still held her and pulled her, she managed to free one hand and slapped him hard.

Parker quit singing in the middle of the song as she walked away, as this guy grabbed her again. Gary was beside her then saying "Let the lady go." He looked like he wanted to slug Gary, until he flashed his badge, and the guy walked away. Gary led Karolina back to the table just as Parker came over to them. He slid in the booth beside her and slipped his arm around her asking. "You allright?"

She snuggled her head into his shoulder a few moments as Gary left the table to check on the drunk, who was leaving. She felt good again, Parker was holding her shaky hands. He grabbed the back of her neck raising her head and said "I need to go." She nodded her head and smiled. He kissed her hands and left the table. She stared at her shaky hands and still felt warm inside. She smiled at Gary who had returned and asked her to leave, but she shook her head no.

She didn't dance anymore although many asked. Jean Marie was tired and they asked her was she ready to leave, but she wanted to stay. She got Parker's attention and asked him, "They are ready to leave. If I stay would you take me home?"

"Sure I'd love to. Jean Marie and Garyleft as he went back on stage.

After closing time she helped him pack up his music and guitar and he drove her home. He unlocked her door and she said "Thanks see you." She tiptoed up to kiss his cheek, he turned his head just in time to meet her soft lips. He kissed her with small like kisses at first. When she leaned into him he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately. Then just like before she tensed up and pushed him away, and went in the door shutting it behind her.

He stood outside the closed door, scratching his head in wonder. He started to walk away when he heard her call out to Mr. Peabody, and then heard her crying. Just as he thought, he tried the door and found it unlocked, and walked in unnoticed. He shut the door and walked over to the couch where she was holding the cat and crying into it's fur.

He touched her shoulder causing her to jump and the cat jump away. He asked, Want to tell me about it?" She pulled herself together drying her eyes on a tissue and said. "I can't tell anyone." Taking a seat beside her he said.

"It can't be all that bad now."

"It is believe me it is."

"I'm listening."

"Please don't ask. I guess I'm just upset over that creep."

He lifted her head brushing away a stray tear and said.

"It wasn't my kissing you that upset you?"

"Not really. I shouldn't ask but. Forget it.

"You can ask me anything, what is it?"

"Would you just hold me please?" He pulled her into his arms and held her rubbing her back as she cried, soaking his shirt. Finally he said. "I'll be here whenever you're ready, as long as it takes. I guess everyone has secrets. Just don't shut me out completely. We don't have to be more than friends if you want. We're like two people lost at sea you and I."

"You have your mother and son."

"And you have Jean Marie and Gary and me, if you'll let me help."

Several hours later he covered her up with a quilt while she slept there on the couch and slipped out locking the door behind him. But she wasn't really sleeping restful. She was dreaming about that man again. He was chasing her and knocking her down. He tied her up and slapped her around. All the time he pinched and poked her and tortured her most intimate parts. It was the same dream she had over and over. Finally exhausted even in her sleep her hero came and took her away.

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